ZODIAC'S FORTHCOMING THREAD ON 3A

Zodiac said...
Hi all,

I posted this on the existing thread on 3 A's site today, I do not know how to start a new thread there.

She said she would definately be able to recognize him again as he has a distinctive walk, it looks like he is doing the highland fling, she would recognize him any where despite not being able to see his face. Continued.......

The gang and l discussed this for a few minutes more and decided we would keep a closer eye on our valuables.
The next night was a lovely evening and we were all invited to Stu Pidder's garden for drinks and dinner. I was the fist to arrive (as usual) I sat and enjoyed a few glasses of wine with Stu and Ida, I was starting to feel a little tipsy as I had already drunk half a bottle wine whilst I was reading posts from some forums and blogs I visit, before I headed out for my 'me time'. The rest of the gang started to arrive and the food was served. Stu and Ida always put on a good spread, not to be missed under any circumstances. We started talking about the incident regarding my laptop. We were all disgusted with what had happened. Xavier and Sue were so worried that the same could happen to them so they brought their baby monitor with them. I thought it must be a really good one to work from that far away, wish I had one of those. I told the gang that I asked my son if he had heard anything last night and that I had explained to him someone had been in the house took my laptop used it and put it back. He said well the window in the Study must have been open and the breeze must have been making it move cos it was squeaking and I woke up, it also woke up Sian and she was crying and then I started crying. Where were you anyway? he asked then ran off to play. I thought to myself my other little one Louis, bless him slept through everything. This surprised me that my kids sleep was disturbed, they are normally bathed cleaned nappies for Sian and Louis and the best PJ's money can buy for Marty then a nice cup of warm milk and they are out like lights before their heads touch the pillow and not a peep out of them until 8am. Gosh time flies when you are enjoying yourself. Hey what time is it I asked (I did not have a watch on) ER..UM...OH..can you believe it nobody had a watch on tonight...well has anybody got their mobile...ER..UM...OH..nobody had a mobile phone either, Stu do you mind nipping in and finding out the time for me hun cos I think it is time I did a check on my house. Sorry Amya all our clocks are broken, we do not have a TV that displays the time, we do not have a land line phone and we left our mobiles at work. It was dark, the garden was lovely and cosy with the lights from the candles and the logs burning in the Chimnea. I felt so relaxed and the thought of get up and doing a check was the last thing I wanted to do, Ida was just about to serve her prize winning Pavlova if I checked now I would be back in time for a lovely big slice of it, before this greedy gang scoffed the lot. Right guys I am off to check my house, you can all check your own. I practically ran the 100mts (approx, I really should check the distance) to my house, the thought of the Pavlova had my taste buds tingling, I could almost taste it. When I got home I checked the time, my Rolex was lying on the table. FFS it was 10pm. I left at 8pm oh no wait was it 8.30pm, what time did I put the cherubs to sleep oh I cannot remember, I think Dolly did a check earlier on anyway. Or maybe she didn't, was it tonight we were going to be responsible for checking our own homes. Well I do not believe it, I am totally disgusted this is a disaster. Where is my laptop? I left it sitting safely on the study desk. The Laptop Snatcher has taken it...again! I opened the little window in the study and looked out onto to the driveway to see if he had climed out there, maybe I disturbed him when I came in through the diningroom unlocked patio doors. I think he must have been hiding behind the study door last night when I did my check. What a fly bu**ger he is. I checked behind the Study door.....nope...he wasn't there. I was bursting for the loo I nipped upstairs, just made it in time..all this drinking a glass of water with every glass of wine plays havoc with my bladder. I must have had 7 or 8 glasses of water so far tonight. As I was sitting there I thought OMG I will have to check if my precious...diamond ring has not been taken! I quickly washed my hands. I checked my make-up, thank goodness I did cos my mascara was all blotchy so I fixed that, my hair looked a little frizzy so I switched on the straighteners and fixed it. Well I could not go back to Stu and Ida's looking like that, I do have a reputation to uphold. I checked my jewellery box..thank you God...thank you God, my ring was still there. I checked everywhere there was no sign of my laptop. I sat in the Study at my desk. Everything was so neat and tidy just as I had left it. Little Mousie Mouse had been placed on the shelf above the desk. I never put him there, he is always sitting on his little comfy mouse mat. Well I could feel the tears well up. I took little Mousie and placed him on his pad. I just stood there standing over him and looking at him, then a single tear rolled down my cheek and splat landed on Mousie. I got some anti-bacterial wipes and gave him a good clean. I cleaned everywhere else in the Study, it was so clean and smelled so nice. I must have been at home for about 10-15 mins. OMG ! A horrible thought entered my head, those greedy barstewards will have eaten all the Pavlova. I quickly ran back to Stu's, thank God they had left me a lovely big slice of Pavlova...mmm...passion fruit my fav. Guys...guys..put my Pavlova in a tupperware I'll take it home...the Laptop Snatcher has taken my laptop and he has not brought it back...what should I do...I mean he could be on all sorts of sites looking, reading and posting goodness knows what. OMG what should I do? We all went back to my house and had a good look round. Do you think we should phone the Police I said. Pop Sickle said I think we should wait to see if he comes back with it, maybe phone in about 30 mins or so. Pop Sickle is brilliant, you know after a few glasses of wine, some cocktails and I take my contacts out, in the candle light he really is quite handsome as long as he does not speak. I phoned my Mum. Mum...Mum...someone has been in the house and taken my laptop. Well she p'd me off right away asking me questions...how did someone get in...what do you mean you left the doors unlocked...where were you...are you stupid or what, I thought you had more sense than that...who was watching the kids.. are they OK, hold on Mum I'll just check. Yes they are all tucked up safely, sleeping sound. Right Mum I've got to go there is a Policeman here wanting to speak to me. Who phoned the Police I asked? I did said Xavier, your next door neighbour was snooping about so I told her everything was in hand and to clear off this our business and nobody else's, we will deal with it. I was rather surprised it was just a Bobby on the beat that arrived..do they not know who I am..I mean..I'm..Amya Moron. He seemed rather confused as if he did not believe what I was telling him. He was starting to annoy me, I felt like telling him to go away. I heard him radio the station and ask for Detective Avery Goodbook to call and question me. Who T Fk is that I thought! I picked up Mousie Mouse for comfort, I started chewing on the cable nervously, at one point I thought I might chew right throught it. It seemed like ages until Det Avery Goodbook arrived, I knew right away I did not like him, he kept asking me about my kids and who was watching them. What was his problem? I told him I was having dinner in Stu Pidder's garden which is actually like dining in my own back garden as I can see the rooftop of my house from there. Look I said you are avoiding the issue my laptop has been taken by the Laptop Snatcher and he could be posting all sorts with my IP Address. At this point Pop Sickle said look this is very boring to keep going on about the kids, someone has gone into a house and taken a laptop, what are you going to do about that. Det. Avery Goodbook still did not looked convinced and was puzzled that my kids could sleep through all this noise. I said I needed the loo. On the way up I took my bag with me. I took out my mobile and phoned my Pr Spokesperson/Solicitor (what everyone has one ) The Great Boabie Puller. I gave a huge sigh of relief he was on his way and he would deal with everthing, thank heaven for Boabie.

My witnesses for all the occassions that my laptop was used without my permission are:

Stu Pidder and his partner Ida Nyit.
Patty O'Furniture and her partner Pop Sickle.
Xavier Breath and his partner Sue Cherself.
Dolly Dimple and her partner Hyman Idiot.
And of course not forgetting my PR rep should I need one Boabie Puller.



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