26 Jan 2010


The News of the World were immediately pounced on by Carter Ruck for printing her diaries without her permission and they paid up. So what are those thoughts and feelings contained in the diaries, below, that Kate just did not wish to share with us? Because it is odd really, she has gone on TV and talked to the press etc so many times, but this, no you cannot read this, so read on...The News of the World actually give this article a very favourable slant to the McCanns and the usual bashing for the Portuguese Police. So just what is it that just after the PJ revealed their files to the world, Kate or Team McCann did not want revealed?

Comments in green are my own. I have not gone right the way through it. I have to say that on reading this, there is only one conclusion you can draw really, Kate killed Madeleine. That does not mean it is the right conclusion but it certainly looks that way. She felt much better when she got JK Rowling on board and she is just trying to get her back on board again. Is this the answer to the eternal mystery of what happened to Little Maddie? Kate even talks about how difficult bedtimes are! She also mentions texting Ricardo Paiva, which she then realises what not such a good idea. Half of her, it seems, wanted to confess. But I suspect her cold husband was having none of that, if this is what happened and I am not saying that it is!

HAPPIER TIMES: Madeleine on the day she vanished
By Daniel Sanderson, 13/09/2008
TODAY we reveal the secret diary of agonised mum Kate McCann—penned over months as she and husband Gerry struggled to deal with their daughter Madeleine’s abduction.
Her words destroy the litany of lies told by Portuguese cops to paint them as cold and calculating. Kate wrote: “I can’t bear being without Madeleine. It’s like torture— a slow painful death.”
FOR months the Portuguese police leaked carefully selected extracts from Kate McCann’s secret diary, chosen to deliberately paint her and husband Gerry as the ice couple—cold, dispassionate and emotionless in the face of three-year-old Madeleine’s abduction.
Now, for the first time, the News of the World can fill in the blanks and nail those lies. The 135-page journal covering April 28, 2007 to Tuesday, July 31, was passed to us by a reporter in Portugal appalled by the sickening smear campaign against the McCanns.
Kate’s log of the dark days after Madeleine vanished from their holiday flat reveals the true picture of the tortured woman behind the calm, brave face she had to portray in public, as initial disbelief and numbness gave way to desperation and rage. Often she includes touching messages of love to her missing daughter. It confirms the strength Kate drew from her devout Catholic faith—and frankly admits the doubts the trauma forced her to face.
THE entry for the fateful day Madeleine McCann vanished—May 3, 2007—makes chilling reading in her mother’s diary, because it started out so NORMAL.
Mum-of-three Kate, 40, records that it began much like any other since the family arrived at the Mark Warner Ocean Club in Praia da Luz on Portugal’s Algarve coast—one long, happy round of swimming, tennis, kids’ club, games and fun. (but the reality of what we see is a couple who put their children in the nursery all day every day, spent the obligatory few hours with them each night when the nursery closed, and then left them alone with the door open, having dumped them in bed at the earliest possible hour . Is this the News of the World's idea of a Happy Family??)
But knowing what is about to befall them turns Kate’s simple account of the children’s evening bedtime routine into a tense drama...
THURSDAY, MAY 3: Milk and biscuits for the kids. I left them with this and books and games and went to have a quick shower/wash my hair. M (Madeleine) tired—sitting on my lap—I read the story of Mog (favourite children’s book).
Brush teeth. To the bedroom with the kids. M pulls away and puts her head on pillow. Kisses goodnight for M. Pulled the door to as far as possible without shutting it. Silence. How could this log have been written at the time, given she does not even bother to mention the twins? We know that it was not, Philomena told us that she advised Kate to start keeping this log after Madeleine disappeared. So this seems rather contrived and backdated to the start of the holiday?
Dry hair. Put make-up on. Glass of wine. Restaurant.
(During dinner nearby with friends —dubbed the Tapas 7—the group took turns to check the children. At 10pm Kate discovers Madeleine gone. The McCanns and helpers frantically scour the area until 4am.)
FRIDAY, MAY 4: No sleep, Gerry and I started looking through the streets around 06.00 as it was starting to get light. Nobody around. Why not? Desperate. Why would you wait until 6 to start looking for a little girl who was all alone and could so easily have just walked out of the patio door they say they left open?
Minutes seem like hours. Outside of the apartments masses of people asking questions about that night and for descriptions of Madeleine. Long day. "that night" but this is supposedly being written just the following morning!
(Then Kate, Gerrry and their seven friends were taken to the Policia Judiciaria, or PJ, headquarters in nearby Portimao to give statements.)
Nobody from the police introduced themselves. Nobody offered us a drink or food. All the police dressed informally and smoking. No sympathy was shown and far from inspiring. Why was she immediately so arrogant and insulting to the PJ? Why would they be sympathetic to a couple who left three tiny tots alone with the door open? Why would being offered food, informal dress, smoking be issues for her at all in the circumstances?
I believe my statement would have been around 15.00 and such. They allowed G (Gerry) to come in with me but seated behind me. This was a grave error on the part of the police if true, any parent in this situation has to be treated as a suspect and GErry should not have been allowed to sit behind her clocking every word. Hardly fits with her suggestion they were rude and unkind to her! Translator present.
The police officer who took us by car to the station was the one asking the questions and afterwards typed the answers on a typewriter. Morose. Why on earth would a mother in this situation immediately be so incredibly rude and hostile in her attitudes to those she desperately needed help from to recover her daughter ?
We left the police station around 7.30pm to 8pm. After 15 minutes we received a call from the PJ saying we had to go back but they didn’t tell us why. We turned around and flew back at around 200 kilometres an hour. Once again frightening. Did they find her? Please God. Is she dead? Kate seems to be wanting to avoid the issue of going back to the police station, even complaining about the speed, and immediately addresses the question is she dead. This is just the day after Maddie went missing, and yet, she now tells us she is sure Maddie is still alive???

Prayers. We arrived—they showed us a photo of a girl they’d forgotten to show us from the close circuit TV footage. Not M. Devastating.

Seems to suddenly jump from 4 May to 12 May, why the big gap, what was happening in those crucial days that Kate does not see fit to record?
SATURDAY, MAY 12: (Madeleine’s birthday) Madeleine is four years old. Day at resort with holiday group. Special Mass for Madeleine at 18.00 in Praia da Luz. Kate and Gerry are photographed outside the Church, Gerry in particular in fits of laughter, Kate smiling happily, holding flowers. Perverse! No anguish about how sorrowful she is Madeleine missed her birthday?
MONDAY, MAY 14: I slept well last night after a not very good end of the day, frustration with the FLO (Portuguese police family liaison officer) asking me where would my little M be.
I got up at 06.50. I dealt with some trifles and got myself ready for the statement to the press at 08.00.
I tried to put on a slightly more presentable and “healthy” air. Gerry again gave a great performance.
Following on we answered about four questions. I almost responded to the first one asking how we were, but I didn’t. I did answer a question on our possible return home. I replied that obviously I didn’t even think about that. Anyway, it seemed to have gone well. After breakfast and our having left S and A, (twins Sean and Amelie, then aged two) we went to church to pray in silence. Very good, calming. What now you got rid of the children again with this terrible lurking predator in PDL?
After getting back I decided to go running—for the first time since THE day (already 11 days ago). I knew that it was going to be physically difficult,(but not mentally) but I also knew that I wasn’t going to give up, because it was for Madeleine and also because the level of pain is far higher now. So she went jogging for Madeleine and 11 days on the "level of pain is far higher". How could it be?
No cameras or journalists, which was great. I went running towards the beach and then along it and again climbed that hill so steep —without stopping! (I carried a photo of M in my hand to keep me going.) On the last hill past the tennis courts my legs completely weak, but I managed to keep myself walking. I managed to reach the apartment then time to stop—to think—I felt really quite calm. This sounds like a strategy someone might employ to deal with a terrible burden they are facing and for which they feel very troubled and very guilty. How to snap out of it, calm down, deal with it. This makes it sound like Kate killed Madeleine.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 23: Gordon Brown (then Chancellor and PM in waiting) called and spoke with Gerry -very kind and giving encouragement.
Feeling a bit emotional afterwards.
SATURDAY, MAY 26: We went to an amusement park with the kids. Some phone calls, emails etc. Not a very good day for either the two of us—some dark thoughts/ frustrations/ desperation creeping in. Some tears. What were those dark thoughts and frustrations that happened on 26 May and why were the tears so long in coming. Was she feeling things were not going as planned.
(Then in a moving little message to Madeleine) I love you so much XXX Some salve for her conscience what with all those dark thoughts and feelings?
SUNDAY, MAY 27: Clarence (Clarence Mitchell, Foreign Office family liaison at the time) spoke to us about a possible trip to the Vatican. It seems that it really is going to happen—main story on the news! I do not pretend to understand what Mitchell, supposedly acting on hehalf of the government was doing arranging this! But it was noticeable how, in a picture with Gerry, as he returned to PDL from UK on about 20 May, they cheerily walked together. There has always been an unholy alliance between these two men!
Spoke to Dad. I went for a walk to the beach with Sean and Amelie. Frozen. Beach—slippery, wet feet.
We all had dinner when we got back to the apartment.
We have to keep looking. We have to find you beloved xxxxx. But just what had she been doing about "looking", I see nothing in her diary entries!
(Kate signed off the day’s entry by drawing a heart with “I LOVE MADELEINE” inside.) Almost like childhood fantasy behaviour...
WEDNESDAY, MAY 30: (After trip to see Pope detailed above) The kids went to bed again around 9pm!!! Low point of tonight—becoming desperate/without hope because of the lack of information. They are acting like they have no leads at all. Very worried. Well I suppose it would be worrying the Police cannot find any "leads" in relation to a supposed strange abduction that plainly did not happen. And if you are a guilty and afraid person that lack of knowledge as to what the police are doing would build and become increasingly frightening.
Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since Madeleine was taken. Four weeks since we saw our special little girl. We are not certain that we will ever see her again, but know that we have to keep up our hope and strength—for the others, at least. Exhausted. For others at least, she needs to put on a good show, this is a chilling remark that clearly indicates and intention to deceive in my opinion.
I love you so much, Madeleine. You must come back! X It seems that whenever, in her mind, she dwells on what has really happened, she has to put in a comment about how much she loves Madeleine, this needs no explaining!
FRIDAY, JUNE 1: Quite fed up...I can’t stop thinking about Madeleine, about her fear of pain. How can I go on knowing that her life could have ended like this?
This week I have been quite overtaken by black thoughts. Please, God, bring her back. I suspect even God could not provide that.
Bedtime is becoming more and more of a challenge. Even more of a challenge than it was that night?
SATURDAY, JUNE 2: I can’t remember today (which is now yesterday!). The morning was spent doing paperwork. I wrote a letter to JK Rowling, asking for her help in keeping M in the public eye. She has a new Harry Potter book which will come out in July. I asked if it would be possible to do something like a bookmark with M on.
An enjoyable afternoon—I never felt so relaxed. I felt it was wrong. After she had spoken to JK Rowling and felt she had someone really wealthy and powerful on her side she NEVER felt so relaxed?? S and A had fun and that was important. I also worried about what people might think,like “How can they manage to...?” so having someone like JK Rowling on your side really makes you feel better!! Major and expensive PR campaign needed to manage what people might think and how can they manage to NOT CRY?
It seems that Sean is liking the beach more these days. More than what? was he afraid of the beach, is that normal? We had tea in a nearby restaurant—good, despite still thinking that I had to do normal things without feeling guilty. We left around 7.30pm and the kids were completely exhausted.
Fed up again —poor M. Once again it took a long time before S and A were sorted. Does she need drugs to help her with that? but had to stop using them?? Finally went to church for 10 minutes.
Private worship (despairing!).
Cried again in bed—I can’t avoid it. I need her close to me. Thinking about her fear of pain breaks my heart. Thinking about paedophiles makes me want to tear at my own skin. I was never in favour of the death penalty, but these people should be kept in a secure place. I wouldn’t even complain if it was in nice surroundings, but, certainly in the case of paedophiles always distanced from any type of contact with children.
Whose human rights are more important? Those of a paedophile or of a vulnerable, defenceless child? So it was over a month before Kate started thinking about these evil paedophiles?
TUESDAY, JUNE 5: Woke up relatively late again, around 7.30am, with a good morning wake-up call from S and A. Adorable!! I just wish it had been all three of them that came into the room. After a shower and breakfast, I took S and A to the Kids’ Club. I asked if they could make birthday cards for their Grandma and Gerry—today is his birthday but I had forgotten which is not surprising!
THURSDAY, JUNE 7: The Press conference went well. People are always asking how we are managing to cope, how we can manage to run a campaign, as if we are strange because we are able to appear calm and controlled and aren’t going under all the time. They know so little. That is very true. Nobody should judge or criticise because, unless they have already been in this situation, they have NO IDEA how they would be and certainly NO IDEA how painful it is. NO IDEA AT ALL. I love you so much Madeleine xxxx This almost reads like a confession, I can completely understand why Police took the view that they did. Did she kill Madeleine and write this, almost trying to confess, was something or someone stopping her?
I can’t bear this. I can’t bear being without Madeleine. It’s like torture—a slow, painful death. I hope her suffering, if she is suffering, is much less. Please God.
SUNDAY, JUNE 17: Cherie Blair (then the Premier’s wife) phoned to find out how we were.
We talked about everything in general, including about them leaving Number 10. She agreed as well to make a 20-second video clip for our broadcast on YouTube about Madeleine and children who have disappeared.
I also had the chance to speak to Tony (then Prime Minister) who told me that we weren’t to hesitate to ask him if there was something he could do to help.
On Sky News tonight they suddenly said the Portuguese police had stated that the crime scene had been contaminated—because of us—and that fundamental evidence had been lost. How dare they insinuate that our daughter’s life could be put in danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.
I want to speak to someone now, but it’s too late.
I changed my mind and I sent a text message to Ricardo (Portuguese police family liaison officer). I don’t know if was a sensible idea but I feel really annoyed.
My darling little Madeleine, you know that we wouldn’t do anything to put you in danger.
I love you very much and I am in agony right now.
I only have to hope that God helps us all now and that he brings you back to us, safe and sound, very soon. After all that talk about paedophiles?
I need you to come back Madeleine. You are the best thing in my life that has ever happened to me. XXXXX She needs Madeleine to come back because of her own needs and she now says Maddie was the best thing that ever happened, not Gerry, not the twins, just Maddie. Oh dear!
I ended up feeling very upset. Everything overflowed. Terrified that we might not get Madeleine back. I simply cannot face that. Tears, despair, rage, helplessness. I spoke to Gerry, recited prayers. Please God, bring her back XX
I fell asleep after 1am.
MONDAY, JUNE 18: I spent a few lovely hours with Sean and Amelie building a sandcastle with a moat, getting big hugs from Sean, ice creams.
Shower, lovely meal and a little playtime with the kids.
(But as night closes in Kate’s anguish returns.)
I can’t stand living like this. It’s so painful and distressing. Dear Lord, PLEASE answer our prayers. PLEASE send Madeleine back to us. PLEASE.
I love you so, so much Madeleine, more than anything XXXXX.
TUESDAY, JUNE 19: Last night I didn’t manage to get to sleep until around 1am because I was so upset again. It’s so painful to be without Madeleine and I can’t stand to think that it could be like this forever. This simply cannot happen.
Good night, good night Madeleine,I’m longing to read you a bedtime story again. I love you my little darling X.
I’m longing to read you a bedtime story again. I love you my little darling X.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20: There is still no sign of Madeleine. I didn’t feel like it so I decided not to go running.
Went to pick up Gerry from the airport. It was so good to see him. Just before we reached the apartment we saw a man lying in the middle of the street, so we stopped the car and got out. It was no surprise to see that he was drunk (we’ve all been there!) but he recognised Gerry and me immediately. Gerry walked him round to his apartment.
THURSDAY, JUNE 21: I went to the church around 9.20pm to pray a bit by myself, in peace. I got a bit annoyed, I don’t understand why God doesn’t answer my prayers. I think I need a sign of some sort. I miss her so much. It is so painful and I don't feel my life is complete and I won’t ever feel it is complete, if she doesn’t come home. Gerry came down later on to be with me.
Apart from a glass of wine, chocolate and this diary, there’s nothing much else to tell.
FRIDAY, JUNE 22: I miss Madeleine loads and that’s a real understatement. Sometimes I think I must have done something so bad. (Then Kate recalls the IVF treatment she needed to get pregnant) It was so difficult and painful ‘trying’ to have Madeleine and now this!!!
Why??? Bad luck??? A sick joke??? And then I think I don’t want to think about me—I’m an adult, but Madeleine, dear, sweet, vulnerable, beautiful Madeleine... and I just feel like screaming. WHY?
Dear Lord, I continue to ask, continue to hope, continue to try to have faith in You. Please help us. Put an end to this nightmare. Please help Madeleine. PLEASE LORD.
Madeleine, I love you with all my heart. You are part of my being and I will never feel whole without you. I hope and pray for the day, hopefully soon, when we will be reunited and together again FOREVER. I miss you so much. I need you. I love you. XXXXXXXXXXX
SATURDAY, JUNE 23: I woke up after 7am hesitating (again!) about going running but eventually I built up enough enthusiasm to convince Gerry that we should go. He ran quite well and without a doubt it was worth us going.
Will we see her again one day? How can this end well now? She’s so precious. God I need you to do something soon. I’m so desperate and suffering so much.
This evening I felt quite low again. It’s the awful uncertainty, helplessness and worry. It’s really unbearable. I only want to be able to hide or hibernate until this is all over and Madeleine is back. Please make sure she’s OK.
The usual—dinner, a few drinks and emails. Good night. Good night my darling, longing to lie down...
SUNDAY, JUNE 24: Oh, Madeleine, I find the nights so difficult and only God knows how things are going to find you. I just want to say, once again, that you have been the most special and amazing thing that ever happened to me.
I’ve never felt such love for another person. I hope and I trust that God and Mary are protecting you and I only know that Dad and I and all your wonderful family and friends will continue to search for you, and we all long for the day when you will be back with us again— FOREVER! XX
Good night. Good night darling. I love you XXXXXXXX
TUESDAY, JUNE 26: I went for a short walk to the shops nearby. I had heard that there was a paedophile there. Nice, isn’t it?
If people informed us about these criminals of course we’d be more cautious and we’d feel safer!
Unfortunately I read two books of messages that had been delivered... There were three horrible ones. One from a former Met Police officer—very insensitive/ cruel and far from constructive! Another said “R.I.P. Maddie”—how appalling!
Well, not surprisingly I was very upset and I went out to the rocks on the beach. I cried a lot and spoke to Madeleine and to God. I was still not ready to go but Gerry was calling me. The police had arrived, as planned, at the apartment. I calmed down and went to the meeting with the police. Everything seems to be so slow. We finished at around 7pm so I went to be with the kids and tell them bedtime stories. I had dinner, had a few drinks despite having said I wanted it without alcohol!! We talked some more.
My darling Madeleine, I feel such fear and dread when I think of you. Every day and every night, it is TOO MUCH. I can only have hope and trust in God and Mary to look after you and bring you back to us soon.
I’m so sorry if I/we let you down. I hope you know how fond of you we are and that we would NEVER do anything intentionally that would put you in danger—of any kind. You are so precious to me. You make me so happy and I miss you so much. Please God, please Mary, keep watch over our sweet Madeleine. Keep her safe and sound and bring her back to us soon! X X
MONDAY, JULY 2: (The day the McCanns had to move from the Ocean Club apartment to a rented house.)
I started to put everything in the suitcases and then I took S and A to the Kids’ Club around 09.20 and then I came back to pack the cases. We moved everything to the house around 10:30. Although now I think that it is a good thing to move to the house—with a bit more privacy—everything feels wrong and painful without Madeleine. I cannot believe that this has happened. She is so loving and I desperately want her back. Sean and Amelie appeared very excited about the “new house” especially with regard to their room. After lunch on the terrace, Gerry filled the Jacuzzi with cold water and the children enjoyed themselves immensely in their “swimming pool”. I went to look for Chinese food for 4.
Oh dear Madeleine, where are you? Are you nearby? Please keep well and be strong, my little one. We are desperate to find you. We love you very much. You are so special. I long to give you the biggest hug in the WORLD!! I miss you so much. I love you so much my dear Madeleine.“
THURSDAY, JULY 5: I got up at 7.15. Gerry went for a run.
NOTHING is or will be as good again without Madeleine.
I am thinking about you a lot, dearest Madeleine, and praying a lot so that we find you soon—alive and unharmed.
Stay strong—you know that we all love you very very very much XXXXX.
FRIDAY, JULY 6: (The day a man was arrested in Holland for a cruel hoax intended to extort £1.3million from the McCanns in return for details of the kidnappers and Madeleine’s location.) I wrote my emails and finished our statement for when the story broke about the Dutch man’s extortion near lunchtime.
He’s 39, unemployed, says that he was bored and wanted to play with our emotions. Bastard. David Miliband (the new Foreign Secretary) phoned Gerry to offer support.
SATURDAY, JULY 7: We had breakfast and got the children ready as usual. At 10.30 the four of us went to the Algarve Shopping Centre.
The plan was to buy sandals and some other things for the children. However the journey was a disaster. We had to stop three times on the way there, since Sean and Amelie were crying alternately.
I began to f

PAIN REVISITED: Kate and Gerry McCann talk ahead of the one year anniversary of Madeleine's disappearance
eel that it had been a wasted day, even though Sean and Amelie had some good goes in Noddy’s car and Popeye’s boat. The return journey was slightly more bearable.
I had a “moment” while we were having lunch. I saw a woman who looked pregnant and I began to think about when I was pregnant with Sean and Amelie. And then it hit me. (Kate then remembers a touching scene from the past.) Madeleine was coming to visit us later that evening, the look of wonder on her face, and afterwards she got in beside me in bed. She was and is so adorable—a real jewel, a real gift. And I painfully miss her.
At around 18.00 went to church. It was good... there was nobody else there. Later Gerry turned up and joined me and we went down as far as the rocks on the beach and talked a little about Madeleine. But I began to feel slightly pessimistic and fearful. Please, my God, prove to us that we are not wrong. But I was feeling worse. Please, my God, let this have a happy ending.
I have been thinking a lot about you today, Madeleine. I am so worried and frightened for you. I can only hope that God has you in his hands and brings you back to us soon. Please, my God, help us, help Madeleine.
We love her and we need her so much, and she loves us and needs us. Please, please, please make it so that we have some good news soon. Good night darling. I love you. (I can hardly wait to say “See you tomorrow.”) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
THURSDAY, JULY 12: I hate the person who took my Madeleine—the same one who has caused all this trouble, who made us feel worthless and mistrustful and mainly who has frightened my beautiful Madeleine. I will never forgive that person/those people for this. Never.
Today I washed the Cuddle Cat (Madeleine’s favourite soft toy and a constant comfort to heartbroken Kate). I was hoping not to have to do it until Madeleine returns, but it was now quite dirty and smelly, unfortunately without the smell of Madeleine on it. XX
TUESDAY, JULY 17: Finding it very difficult to talk to people from home, unless they are directly involved. It is difficult to show an interest in other people’s lives and children at the moment. I know it sounds horrible, selfish and egocentric, but at the moment I can only think about Madeleine. I don’t want to hear about anyone having babies or getting pregnant (mainly because it was all so very difficult for us). I’m worried about turning into a bitter, angry woman, that would be horrible. Please God bring Madeleine back and let this nightmare end.
Please don’t let our lives be destroyed by this. Please don’t let them hurt Madeleine.
Earlier today I found Amelie in our room looking at photos of Madeleine and she said: “I miss my sister. Where’s my sister?”
I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t realise Amelie’s vocabulary and use of words was so good. I just said: “I miss her too. We’ll find her soon.” What a little sweetheart!
We took turns jumping into the water with the kids, which was great fun. After a DVD and a story it was the twins’ bedtime which didn’t take too long tonight. Madeleine, we are all with you darling.
Keep strong, be patient, we’ll keep on going till we find you. I love you so much. We hope and pray we’ll see you soon.
Goodnight, my darling. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 18: It was suggested that Madeleine is dead and buried in an area close to the beach, behind the cliff.
What can I say? I feel my body’s on the verge of collapse. How much pain and emotion can one body take? I had a bad afternoon. I was very worried, desperate, extremely on edge. I don’t think I can take any more of this, I really can’t. How much longer will this suffering go on? I need Madeleine ALIVE.
SATURDAY, JULY 21: I continue to feel very low. I miss Madeleine so much. It’s as if a ray of light has disappeared from my life. There’s no doubt that Madeleine is that ray and I miss her more than words can say.
We just wrote our blogs/diaries. Once again those dark thoughts returned, linked with feelings of anxiety, fear and worry. How much longer will we have to cope with this pain?
My poor, poor Madeleine. Why, Lord? My heart aches with so much love for you, Madeleine. I just hate being without you.
(Kate then relives the last time they saw Madeleine in the Ocean Club apartment.)
If I could go back in time, I would. I have clear recollections of that night. You were so tired. After your baths, you sat on my knee and put my wedding ring on your finger. We (me, you, Sean and Amelie) read “Mog” in the living area and then “if you’re happy and you know it”. We all sat down on your bed.
Then you counted the squares on the last page. You were always counting things on pages...always laying your head on your pillow at the same time every night. Madeleine you make me so happy. I just want you home. I love you so much. XXXXXXX
MONDAY, JULY 23: I got up at 7.00 and went running. I was surrounded by a pack of dogs (more or less 12)—it really wasn’t a nice experience. I went to the flat, high part of the cliff as I felt really alone and a little frightened. Please God, don’t let Madeleine be buried here. Please God, make sure she’s alive. Please God, bring her back quickly to us.
I took S and A to the Kids’ Club at 9.45 then I went to church to pray a little on my own.
Every single moment of happiness with Sean and Amelie, who are both so delightful, is mixed with deep sadness. All I want is Madeleine to be safe and happy again.
I spent some time on the internet reading about Sarah Payne (Roy Whiting), Eliz. Smart (Brian Mitchell) and the Peter Voisey case (he abducted a six-year-old girl from the bath in North Tyneside). Really horrible.
Night, night sweetheart. I’m trying to be positive. I need to be because I need to believe that you’re going to come back to me, so I can go back to being truly happy. I love you XXX.
TUESDAY, JULY 24: Sean and Amelie had lots of fun in the Jacuzzi—laughter galore! Carrot sticks and crisps were had by all at teatime.
Oh, darling Madeleine. It pains me to think of you—it causes me such sorrow and I have no idea how you feel. I pray to God that you are well, that you are not hurt. I pray that God keeps you safe and sound and that you’re not afraid, nor in pain.
Please God, answer my prayers and please, please, please bring Madeleine back to us very soon, for our own happiness. Please God.
Madeleine, sweetheart, I love you so much. I can’t stop saying it. Night, night darling. We will keep hoping and having faith in God. XXXXXXX.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 25: I received some bad news last night. A friend has breast cancer and has just received her first dose of chemotherapy following surgery. Horrible. I will include her in my prayers.
At around 15.30 I went for a run. I had begun to feel restless and worried about Madeleine. It was hot and hard work, but I felt better for having gone.
We returned at around 18.15—the children’s dinner and baths, our dinner.
(and the children’s once again!).
Madeleine, sweetheart, you are the most important thing, the only thing that matters. Words cannot describe how I feel about you nor how restless, tormented, alone, sad and incomplete I feel.
I will continue to hope and pray that you come back to us soon but I don’t want to think about how good it would be to feel something like that—not yet, at least.
I love you so, so much darling. I remember sitting watching you through the glass window when you were having your swimming lessons on a Saturday morning. There you were with your yellow swimsuit, ever so pretty and you were smiling and waving at me, and the tears rolled down my face!
I was and am still so proud of you, Madeleine, and my love for you is never-ending. I can’t stop saying how much I love you dearly. I’m going to try and stay strong for you and you have to do the same. You know we love you and we are going to keep going until we find you again.
All my love, Madeleine. Night, night. Sleep well. May God protect you. XXXXX.
SATURDAY, JULY 28: I got up at 7.30 after a late and disturbed night of sleep.
At around 16.20 we had a dip in the Jacuzzi. Sean and Amelie loved it. After tea I went to the small church. I was a little tearful.
It’s really hard for me not to worry about the small things. I wonder does anyone brush her teeth? She looks so happy in that photo taken on that last day.
I know I’m repeating myself but I can’t stop myself from saying how much I love you, Madeleine. I’ll say it as many times as I need to. You’re so, so special. XXXXX.
TUESDAY, JULY 31: (The day before police seized the diary) I got up early after another late and very disturbed night.
I dropped by the church. I feel better after these short conversations.
I cooked my first meal (since they took Madeleine!!) for dinner tonight.
Please God—make me right. Please God—protect her. Please God—bring her back to us soon!
Night, night Madeleine, by dearest little angel. My sweetheart, my darling, my love, my companion. I love you more than anything. Lots of hugs my darling. I’m going to dream that I’m lying by your side—moments I’ll always cherish and I long to have again.
Sweet dreams my little one. Be strong. Mummy XXXXX.
Pope was so gentle and so sincere
DEVOUT Catholic Kate’s nerves were on edge as she and Gerry prepared to meet the Pope at the Vatican on May 30.
On May 28 she wrote: “I felt somewhat concerned. This is going to be a little too much, I only want Madeleine back and to return to our normal life.”
Two days later her diary recalls: “Pope Benedict XVI arrived in his “pope mobile” waving to everyone. It immediately became clear that he recognised us. He took hold of our hands and he was so gentle, so sincere.
“I thanked him for having allowed us to be there with him. He said he would pray for us and that he would continue to pray for Madeleine and for her safe return. I gave him the photo of Madeleine—he blessed it (with the thumb)—something that we would be able to keep for ever. A shy man but very friendly.
“Very emotional, very positive, very important—charming.
“Please, God, bring back to us little Madeleine. We love her so much and we miss her so much. Please Lord, help us to be united once again shortly as a family.
“Later on, Clarence (Foreign Office family liaison) told me that, before that (meeting the Pope), a butterfly had flown above and had landed on the bow on my hair.
“Following on, it left, but it came back and landed on my lapel. An omen, we hope.”


viv said...

From Times Online June 4, 2007
David Brown in Praia da Luz

Hunt for Madeleine takes parents to Germany

The parents of Madeleine McCann have spoken of the “information void” they have felt after Portuguese detectives failed to update them on investigation of their daughter’s abduction for more than a week.

Kate and Gerry McCann, who is 39 today, will tonight travel to Germany and then on to the Netherlands to promote the international search for their daughter following her abduction 33 days ago from their Algarve holiday apartment.

Before leaving Portugal the couple hope to meet detectives for the first time in 12 days to receive details about the investigation.

They are expected to appear on the BBC’s Crimewatch programme tomorrow night to appeal for information from holidaymakers who were in Praia da Luz when Madeleine disappeared or who know who took her.

The secrecy surrounding the Portuguese police inquiry means that Crimewatch can not include its usual reconstruction of events, detailed timings or even a picture of an eye-witness description of the man the McCann's believe stole Madeleine.

The couple from Rothley, Leicestershire, have not had any briefing directly from Portuguese officers since May 24 and are relying on information passed to them via British police. A meeting planned with Portuguese police officials fell through last week.

Mr McCann said: “We have had periods of information voids. And that naturally leads us to speculate about what has happened or hasn’t - or could been happening. And that really doesn't help Kate and I. So as much information as we can get is a good thing.”

The consultant cardiologist told Fox News that the couple understand that Portuguese laws on judicial secrecy meant the police are unable to give them details of all leads and suspects in the investigation.

“I would say that the flow of information now is better than it was at the beginning, but there is a lot of information, particularly in relation to leads and suspects which we are not given and have not been done so because of operational reasons,” said Mr McCann.

The couple do not want to be seen openly criticising the Portuguese authorities but have previously expressed “frustration” at a three week delay in issuing the description of a man they are convinced abducted their daughter. A public appeal for information was only made following the intervention of Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister in waiting.

The family spokesman said: “They are very happy with the level of co-operation they are receiving both from the Portuguese authorities via the British police but they are always keen to have further meetings to be updated as often as possible.”

The stress of searching for Madeleine has left Mr McCann with no idea of time - even forgetting his own birthday today.

“Frankly I had forgotten it was my birthday, it is insignificant as far I am concerned. I cannot even think about it,” he said.

viv said...

When asked what the family did last year to celebrate the day he said: “I cannot think about that either.”

A source close to the family said: “It is an indication of how normal life has effectively been put on hold. He had honestly forgotten it was his birthday until I reminded him. He was genuinely puzzled and had to think about it.

“It was Kate who remembered that it was. They have almost lost a sense of the days and this has become their sole preoccupation - finding Madeleine.”

The McCanns have led the campaign to raise awareness of their daughter across Europe and North Africa.

They will tonight fly in a private jet to Berlin for meetings tomorrow (Wednesday) with political and charity figures before flying to Amsterdam for a similar series of events on Thursday. They hope to meet with the Brigitte Zypries, the German Justice Minister, who last month used Madeleine’s abduction as an example of the need for closer cross-border cooperation in the fight against child pornography and abuse.

Ms Zypries told a meeting of the Group of Eight’s security and justice ministers: “We simply have to assume that this was done by a gang that passes on these children for exploitation.

“So we have to make sure that the necessary protection measures and the necessary exchange of data ... takes place so that we can investigate such cases more quickly and also prevent such cases.”

If the Minister is not available because of the meeting of G8 leaders, the McCann’s hope to meet Klaus Wowereit, the influential mayor of Berlin.

Mr and Mrs McCann have decided not to take their two-year-old twins, Sean and Amelie, with them, on their latest visit even though they will be away from the Algarve two nights.

Their family spokesman said the children would stay with Mr McCann's sister Trish Cameron and her husband Sandy as they have done for the past two trips to Rome and Madrid.

“It is a stable loving environment for them here,” he said. “Their welfare is the most important thing - it is too much for them at their age.”

Plans are being put in place for a final trip to Rabat in Morocco, possibly as soon as Sunday.

The couple feel Morocco is an important place to go because of its proximity to Portugal. Several ferries a day leave from Tarifa in Spain, about three hours drive from Praia da Luz, and for the crossing to Tangiers takes just 35 minutes.

Morocco has surfaced repeatedly in the hunt for Madeleine with a reported sighting of a little girl seen with a couple. Interpol and Leicestershire police investigated the claims and are thought to have ruled it out.

But Mrs McCann is said to be particularly interested in visiting the north African country.

“She is very keen to go there,” a family source said. “She feels it is very important because if you only focus on the European mainland you are missing out on a potentially important piece of the jigsaw.”

viv said...

So on 1 June Kate is writing to JK Rowling and Gerry is planning a publicity tour to Germany and Holland. That information void from the Portuguese Police for over a week clearly was spurring them into action.

Even leaving no stone unturned, to defend themselves, perhaps.

viv said...

The McCanns had an information briefing with Portuguese officers on 24 May, these were clearly becoming scarcer, Kate does not mention this briefing in her diary at all, oddly enough but a few days later on the 26th we can see that she writes about desperation and fears creeping in, and, it would seem for the first time, even some tears. Oh dear the police are ignoring us and don't believe us:

SATURDAY, MAY 26: We went to an amusement park with the kids. Some phone calls, emails etc. Not a very good day for either the two of us—some dark thoughts/ frustrations/ desperation creeping in. Some tears.

viv said...

Finally, today, on that 1000th anniversary of the disappearance of Maddie, Kate's mum Susan Healy decides to comment!

1000 days since Madeleine McCann disappeared

Jan 27 2010 by Paddy Shennan, Formby Times

* 1
* 2
* next

TODAY is another landmark day in the search for Madeleine McCann – another chance to raise awareness and keep the missing girl in people’s thoughts.

It is 1,000 days since the then three-year-old – she will now be six – disappeared while on holiday in Portugal with her parents, Kate and Gerry, and her brother and sister, twins Sean and Amelie.

Millions of words have been written and so much seems to have happened since May 3, 2007 – but, in essence, nothing has happened and nothing has changed.

Madeleine McCann went missing on that date – and she’s still missing.

While many people around the world will still have a fixed image of Madeleine in their minds – taken before she went missing – we are reminded of the onward march of time by the fact that Kate and Gerry’s twins, Sean and Amelie, will be five on February 1, while Madeleine herself will be seven on May 12.

viv said...

The future tense is important because, despite the time that has passed, there is no proof the past tense is needed.

As Kate and Gerry stress on their website, findmadeleine.com, under the heading “Why do we continue?”:

“There is absolutely nothing to suggest that Madeleine has been harmed.

“Madeleine is still missing and someone needs to be looking for her.

“She is very young and vulnerable and needs our help.

“We love her dearly and miss her beyond words.”

Kate’s mum Susan Healy says: “I think there has been publicity that will lead you to think that Madeleine is dead, but we just don’t know what’s happened to Madeleine.

“Kate is so anxious people don’t think Madeleine is dead, because if they do then people will stop looking for her.

“The fact is absolutely nothing has changed from day one. People have their ideas but until there’s something to substantiate what has been said it’s ridiculous. It does work against the search and we can’t allow that.”

viv said...

Kate is so anxious people do not think Madeleine is dead?

Well what about Kate and Gerry or better still we?

Susan Healy might have been better to carry on keeping quiet!

viv said...

Kate records in her diary above she thought Maddie was dead the very next day!

So if nothing has changed Susan, what does that mean?

I still go back to that long pause from Susan on Panorama when she was asked to comment on the reactions of Kate and Gerry on the phone, spontaneous about Gerry, big long pause about Kate.

Susan do you know something the rest of us do not? Maybe you should go to the police now?

viv said...

Love this post on Sky (not the silly one from Brunty)

Anyone who believes they did rather blows a hole in other things they think they know about the Madeleine case.
No it doesn't Martin. I don't know anyone who believes the McCanns phoned Sky before they phoned the police. For starters they didn't phone the police, their friends did, and they are the ones who very likely phoned Sky but maybe not before the police were called.
But even if someone believed the McCanns DID call Sky first, how would that make everything else they believed incorrect?
There's no rhyme or reason to your comment Martin, have you been at the drinks cabinet again? lol
Please publish something worthwhile, like Gerry spat his dummy out again at the CEOP conf. because other delegates queried his abduction theory and called him a liar. That would be a readable column now Martin.
Or how 1000 lanterns crashed onto the roof garden at the McCanns party.

viv said...

"Stevo", cashing in on Maddie, or The McCanns, or Goncalo Amaral (as the book just seems to be yet another pretty much straight copy, in its most basic premise anyway, not that I intend to read the garbage) or just a low down rat, leave it to you to decide.

viv said...

New Maddie slur for parentsBy ANTONELLA LAZZERI and NEIL SYSON

Published: Today
MADELEINE McCann's parents face more heartbreak as a second vile book claims they lied about her disappearance.
The slur comes as they today mark the 1,000th day since she vanished.

Claims ... new book
Faked Abduction, by Briton Steve Marsden, repeats claims in a book by ex-Portuguese police chief Goncalo Amaral.

Marsden, writing under the pseudonym Brian Johnson, alleges three-year-old Maddie was not snatched from her family's holiday flat in Portugal.

He says sniffer dogs detected the scent of a dead body in a car rented by parents Gerry and Kate, and cops concluded she died in the apartment and the body was hidden.

The McCanns won a court order banning the book by Amaral, 50, who was sacked from the Maddie inquiry.

Missing ... Maddie
Marsden, a regular contributor to anti-McCann websites, says libel laws can't touch him as he lives in America. But McCanns spokesman Clarence Mitchell said: "Everything Mr Marsden alleges is entirely untrue, as is everything Mr Amaral claims.

"Lawyers will take action if anything defamatory is said."

A thousand lanterns will be released across Britain today to mark the 1,000 days as Kate and Gerry, both 41, of Rothley, Leics, bid to keep the Maddie hunt active.

The Find Madeleine Fund has dwindled below £500,000 and could run out by March.

Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2826061/New-Maddie-slur-for-Kate-and-Gerry-McCann.html#ixzz0dmOaX1Zi

viv said...

The Find Madeleine Fund has dwindled below £500,000 and could run out by March.

We seem to hear this every year now, as the accounts are due and the McCanns start another fresh year of money spinning initiatives.

Half a million as we know, Halligened.

Then about £250 was it on the Retardos of Spain who happily told us (as confidential investigators hunting a missing child do) "we will have her home by Christmas erm 2007, that was)

Just how many cash grabbers are sucking at what are probably now the bones of little Maddie McCann to perpetuate all these lies and just how can they live with themselves?

How much are the lawyers going to be paid in Portugal as the McCanns and Goncalo knock each other for six? What a filthy sordid mess.

viv said...

Interesting report in the Daily Express from last May. I still cannot figure out whether they are pro or anti McCann, but I suspect the latter, in the nicest possible way of course. Only trying to be helpful!

viv said...


STATEMENTS: Witnesses tell of suspicious behaviour at house and toys in secret video den
Sunday May 24,2009
By EXCLUSIVE James Murray and Ted Jeory Madeleine McCANN may have been taken to a luxury villa just half a mile from where she was abducted, Portuguese detectives were told.

Suspicions were raised because of the behaviour of the people who rented the £1million villa and because video cameras were reportedly seen there along with pictures of children on a wall, the Sunday Express has learned.

Our revelations come as West Yorkshire police prepare to fly to Germany to question 64-year-old convicted paedophile Raymond Hewlett over a sex attack on a girl 25 years ago.

Retired detectives working for Kate and Gerry McCann are also hoping to interview Hewlett to ask him directly whether he knows anything about three-year-old Madeleine’s abduction.

Hewlett is in intensive care at a German hospital recovering from an operation for throat cancer. In the last 24 hours his condition has worsened and there are concerns he may have only days to live.

If well enough, it is expected he will be asked if he ever met paedophiles in the Algarve town of Praia da Luz around the time Madeleine vanished.

One theory the McCanns’ investigators are examining is whether there was a paedophile ring operating in the area two years ago.

The Sunday Express has been conducting intensive inquiries in the resort town and asked scores of people if they saw anyone acting suspiciously.

One elderly British resident told us both she and a friend, a retired British woman detective, went to Portuguese police about a couple who rented the villa, which has its own swimming pool.

The resident told us: “I used to meet up with the retired detective to walk our dogs down by the seafront. Both of us became concerned about a couple aged about 30 who rented the villa.


viv said...

“What struck us was that they drove a very tatty, British-registered small red saloon car. It was one those vehicles you would normally see on a gypsy camp, not going in and out of a very expensive villa.

“We only saw them coming and going in the car and not walking about, which is odd given the location of the villa. We both got the impression they were trying to keep a low profile.’’

Another source said that after Maddie disappeared, search teams combed the seafront, where luxury villas stand next to large areas of barren land.

Anglican priest Paul Luckman, owner and publisher of Portugal News, said: “The location and description of that villa mentioned by your source fits the one that a searcher told me about.

“The searcher told me the villa was empty and somehow they got inside some weeks after Madeleine disappeared.

“The search dog handler said the villa had a room with a kind of amateur studio with video equipment and cameras with children’s toys and pictures of children on the wall.

“He felt it was something to do with paedophiles. He told the police and they seemed to know something about it, but we don’t think they took it any further.”

The Sunday Express took him to the villa and he confirmed that it fits the description and location of the one he was told about.

Although we know where it is, we are not naming the villa for legal reasons as we have been unable to locate the owner.

The British woman resident said: “I know the owner was contacted after we raised our concerns with the police.

"The person was angry because she said she did not know the people who rented it and was annoyed about being contacted by detectives.

"We heard nothing more about it. The day after Maddie disappeared the couple moved out and we didn’t see them again.

“There was an older woman in a very expensive car who visited them during their stay.”

The McCanns’ private investigators have been conducting surveillance on several properties for some time. Retired det­ective inspector Dave Edgar returned from Portugal on Friday night and is pursuing a number of leads he is not prepared to discuss.

Meanwhile, paedophile Hewlett is said to be suffering internal bleeding.

A doctor at the Aachen hospital where he is being treated said: “He is very poorly. Fluid has been seeping into his lungs. He cannot speak. The next few days will be critical.”

viv said...

I suppose Maddie could not have been carried very far by her abductor, oddly enough said by a reliable witness Mr Smith to be Gerry McCann.

What a mystery eh!

But keep on grabbing the cash Kate and Gez, rake a few more million in if you can, it is normal behaviour.

But, it would seem, the millions got reduced to mere thousands, I think I read they were expecting £27K from their erm, celebratory bash to mark the 1000th day of Maddie's disappearance and all with lovely lanterns.

It is all in the best possible taste:-)))

viv said...

Anyway, I do hope that on his little forays to Portugal, Dave Edgar remembers to ask people some questions. It is what detectives usually do, apparently. I suppose it is a tough call for Dave though, as he dodges the Daily Express and Daily Mail investigators, investigating exactly what it is he is attempting to do. When they get a scoop, I am sure they will tell us but probably see him with his lips sealed up, just in case Kate and Gerry turn nasty on him :-))

I suppose the lingo is a problem for him when conducting these important quests in Spain and Portugal. In the latter I am sure the other entirely wronged suspect, Robert Murat can provide complete translation services, or is he too busy on some fab beach, with is libel award? That even topped the McCanns, there again the McMates were very nasty to him. But there again, they have had several (large libel payouts, lost count of how many), so, I think the sums involved balance out. It is a bit of a dogged thing, but hey these dogs really earn the cash, you know!

If it was a contest though, the McCanns are going for yet another million so you are just a pauper really Robert xx

viv said...

It is really hard to imagine that these golf loving chums, David Payne and Gerry McCann went to a place with such fab golf courses and never got around to playing.

Why was DC Marshall so keen to know what DAVID PAYNE had been wearing that afternoon, 3 MAY 2007, did he have his golfing gear on, or did they think he might have done? This seems to be a possible link to Robert Murat, golf and who of course is linked to O'Brien and Tanner in that his sister, apparently lives just down the road from them in Exeter:

Extract from a "rather long" but interesting post at:


But let's get back to golf. In a witness statement dated 2007/05/04 Gerry explains to the Police that he had been Portugal previously in 1994, staying in an apartment near to Albufeira and that his decision to come had arisen from his love of playing golf, as Portugal was well known for offering excellent conditions and greens (Processos Vol I Pages 35 – 39). The 1994 Golfing trip had been arranged with his teeing partner David Payne. Palmeras Golf course is generally regarded as one of the most stunning courses in the Algarve and one can well imagine Gerry and David Payne being tempted to a round. On the morning of May 11th 2007, however, it was another course, the Boavista golf course, that came under the scrutiny of the Police. That day a team of officers were dispatched to search a forest on the boundaries of the Boavista course including some abandoned houses, water wells and rail track. The course was again near Odiaxere and just a few short miles from the Palmeras Golf course used by Murat and his friends in the first few days of May (bizarrely, the Police Files included two alleged sightings on a golf course in St Andrews and a golf course in Marbella. see: APENSOS V, Volume II, Supposed Sightings and Locations (FILE 02) and APENSOS V, Volume VIII, Supposed Sightings and Locations (FILE 08) for details).

How long Murat, Walczuch and the da Silvas spent at Palmeras Golf Club on the after of May 3rd isn't very clear. Jorge da Silva says it was three hours or more and 'very much at the insistence of Robert'. da Silva says Robert prolonged the conversation, saying that he was not hungry. Only at about 16.00 did Robert and Michaela drop the witness and his son near to their shop (05-Processos Vol V Pages 1352 to 1355). Michaela's account of the trip to Palmeras Golf Club contradicts this. In her statement she says she and Robert left the da Silvas not at 16.00 but at 14.30 and that they went for lunch at the "BEM BOM" located in Atalaia, Lagos. Da Silva, however, insists that Murat had said 'he was not hungry' and had dropped him and his son back at home at 16.00 hrs.

It wouldn't be the first time a deal had been closed over a round of golf.

viv said...

News from CEOP, watch out Gerry, every financial transaction, dogged determination, mobiles, computers, Forensic Science Service etc etc finally forced to admit guilt, tick tock, and do watch out for your digital footprint! PS I would love to know how you got on lecturing about sexually motivated abductions and faked abductions and and to............... CEOP lol, oh have you got a hangover? Oh and how much did the lanterns cost the Fund? Or did Kenny buy them, lol, launched from PDL I bet they loved that!! Oh, and the USA, I always thought there were a few bums over there you really like, lol

Friday 8 January 2010
Essex man sentenced for child sexual abuse offences

Mark LONGMAN, 43 of Charnwood Avenue, Chelmsford has been sentenced to an indeterminate public protection sentence at Basildon Crown Court on January 7, 2010 for sexual assault, making, possessing and distributing indecent images of children and perverting the course of justice. He will serve a minimum of four and a half years before he can be considered for parole.

DC Phil Merriam of the Essex Police On-Line Investigation Team said:

“This complex enquiry into Mark Longman’s grooming and sexual abuse of teenage girls and his taking and distribution of indecent pictures of girls for financial gain over a period of several years has been running since May 2008. Throughout the investigation Longman denied his wrongdoing and attempted to pervert the course of justice by getting others to destroy evidence. By extending the necessary investigation in this way Longman has prolonged the pain and distress of his young victims. The thorough and complete investigation into Longman’s offending, lifestyle and background eventually forced him to admit his guilt. The victims and their family members are extremely relieved that they no longer have to face the ordeal of giving evidence in court and our thoughts are with them.”

The scope of the investigation involved over 40 civilian and police witnesses, in excess of 430 exhibits, 13 hours of suspect interviews and the examination of over 2 terabytes (1012 bytes) of data from over 30 computer hard drives and 18 mobile phones. Enquiries have extended to four other police forces and have been assisted by financial investigators from the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP) and scientists from the Forensic Science Service. Essex Police would like to thank all those who have contributed to the successful outcome of the investigation.

Jim Warnock, Head of CEOPs Specialist Operations Support said:

“In using specialist financial investigators, CEOP were able to support Essex Police in proving the scale of Longman’s online offending and the extent of his subscriber network of likeminded individuals to whom he was selling child abuse images.

“This sentence should send out a clear message to those seeking to profit from the sexual abuse of children. Every financial transaction – like any activity on the internet - is like a digital footprint which we will track and follow to hold these offenders to account.”

viv said...


viv said...

Oh, lol, Gezzy, look at all the co-operation with various US agencies to net this old perv, dating back TEN YEARS tick tock eh Gez lol! Where can a man (and his merry golfing muckers) be safe from these bloody investigators eh?

13 January 2010
Lancashire man pleads guilty to decade old sex attacks

A 35 YEAR old man from Leyland has pleaded guilty to two sex attacks on young girls dating back more than 10 years.

Delwyn Savigar, of Queensway, admitted an attempted rape and an indecent assault during the course of a trial at Preston Crown Court today (Wednesday 13 January 2010).

He will be sentenced at Preston Crown Court on 30 April 2010, where he will also be sentenced for a rape and distributing and possessing indecent images of children, charges to which he has previously pleaded guilty.

Savigar was identified during a joint investigation between the UK’s Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre and the US Department of Justice (USDOJ), US Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency (ICE), and US Postal Inspection Service (USPIS).

He was arrested by Lancashire Constabulary in September 2008 following intelligence provided by CEOP which demonstrated that Savigar was a key administrator in an online group which allowed hundreds of members worldwide to share indecent images of children.

Savigar’s arrest on 10 September 2008 was coordinated with the arrests of other suspects in the US. Forty-three UK suspects have been identified as members of the internet bulletin board operated by Savigar and separate police investigations are currently underway. The investigation in the US is also ongoing.

Upon examination of his computers, Savigar was found to have in excess of 100,000 indecent images of children. He was subsequently charged with distributing and possessing indecent images of children.

While in custody, the defendant’s DNA was taken to be loaded on to the National DNA Database. A month later, detectives based at South Ribble CID were informed of a DNA match with Savigar relating to the rape of a 13 year old schoolgirl on 30 April 2002.

The victim had been walking along a quiet path in Penwortham when she was approached and forced down some steps before being raped. She reported the matter to police and a full DNA profile was obtained although at that time there was no match on the database.

Savigar was re-arrested on 16 October 2008 by South Ribble CID officers and charged with rape.

Due to the serious nature of this stranger rape on a schoolgirl, detailed crime analysis was conducted on other offences within the area that could be attributable to Savigar. Detectives were concerned that

viv said...

Cont'd from above and actualy Wiz a great example of them getting him in the end!

Savigar had not been brought to the attention of police previously and about the serious nature of this offence when he would only have been 27 years old.

Lancashire Constabulary’s Cold Case Investigation Team began to investigate other cases, as a result, he was charged with attempted rape and indecent assault on two further victims.

In the first incident, a 16-year-old girl was walking to work through playing fields in Walton le Dale on 18 April 1999. Savigar pushed her to the floor and placed his hand over her mouth and throat before indecently assaulting her. The young victim screamed and managed to struggle free before running off.

In the second incident, a 13-year-old girl was walking alone along a country lane in Much Hoole on 13 April 2002 when she was approached from behind by Savigar who placed his arm round her neck and mouth before attempting to rape her.

Detective Inspector Nina Foley, who led the investigation, said:

“Savigar is clearly a dangerous, predatory and shameless individual who took advantage of the innocent nature of his victims in order to carry out his wicked crimes. The public needs to be protected from him.

“I would like to praise the bravery of the victims in this case who have provided evidence in what have been extremely difficult circumstances. I hope that they will now be able to move forward with their lives knowing that this evil offender is behind bars and cannot harm anyone else.”

Temporary Detective Inspector Bev Foster, from the Cold Case Team, added:

“This case demonstrates the importance of working in partnership with other police agencies. CEOP, South Ribble CID and the Cold Case Investigation Team all worked hard to ensure Savigar was brought to justice and it should serve as a reminder to offenders that they cannot escape justice, regardless of when their crimes were committed.

“We will continue to hunt you down, regardless of the passage of time, and will utilise all the latest advances in technology available to us. Cases are never closed and we are committed to identifying offenders to provide closure for victims and reassure our communities.”

Jim Gamble, Chief Executive of the Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre, said:

“Were it not for the investigation into his online offending, detectives might not have been able to identify and link this individual to these awful stranger assaults on children to which today he has pleaded guilty.

“Investigations such as this not only require UK and international law enforcement agencies to work together – collaborations which goes from strength to strength – but also require the dedication and professionalism of the investigating officers. Indeed, CEOP were delighted to recognise Lancashire Constabulary’s investigation team earlier this year at the annual CEOP Awards for their “Outstanding Contribution to Online Investigation and Child Protection” and presented this award to South Ribble CID.”

Notes to editors:

Operation Goldcrest was launched in 2007 to reinvestigate historical, undetected cases of rape and serious sexual assault.

The team is reviewing serious criminal offences committed in Lancashire over the past three decades and will seek to use modern DNA techniques to identify predatory and violent offenders.

The CEOP Centre in the UK’s national police agency set up to protect children from sexual exploitation. Full information on all areas of work as well as online safety messages and access to online reporting can be found at www.ceop.police.uk.

viv said...

On a more serious note, I hope the above gives people more confidence that CEOP and the Police generally do a great job in very thorougly investigating offenders, no matter how long it takes, and putting them behind bars and well away from children and of course computers.

Wizard said...

Wow Viv thank you for all the information. I can now understand why people are motivated to pen books about this case. Kate’s diary is worth a book in itself.

The diary explains a lot. For example the pro McCann fraternity would argue how after placing the body in one place could the Mc’s have moved it and transported it in the hire car when photographers and journalists from the Worlds press following them. Quite easily according to Kate.

14th May entry – “I went running and there were no cameras or journalist around - it was great.”

The move to the villa. Kate points out in her diary the privacy of the villa which she remarks is a good thing. Hmm… rental car parked around the back, boot door open overnight to help get rid of the smell – no one observing what they were doing.

The many jogging jaunts of the McCanns are interesting - were they really to relieve stress or to keep an eye of activities down on the beach and surrounding cliffs.

Jogging activities are listed in the journal all apparently including good views of the beach and cliffs. The cliffs of course having many caves with soft sand – easy to dig unlike the surrounding land terrain which is hard. (According to Amaral – trying to bury the family pet dog)

I think the beach and the caves around pdl are pivotal in this mystery and despite the area being searched by dogs I still think it is the most likely first resting place for M. Remember the original dogs were following a scent supplied from the towel KM says she dried M with after her bath. Hmmm… could the dogs have been mislead and were in fact following the scent of one of the twins? If this was true no wonder they found nothing.

Wizard said...

Kate’s diary.

30th May KM “I hope and pray for the day, hopefully soon, when we will be reunited and together again forever.” Entertaining suicidal thoughts?

26th June – KM “I went out to the rocks on the beach. I cried a lot and spoke to Madeleine and God.” Both in heaven?

5th July – KM “Gerry goes on run on his own.” This appears the first time he goes on a solitary run. Hmm…

7th July – KM “Went to Algarve Shopping Centre. We had to stop 3 times because A & S were crying.” I just wonder where they stopped.

KM continues. “The return journey was more bearable.” The deed done?

July 18th. KM – “It’s suggested that M is dead and buried in an area close to the beach, behind a cliff. What can I say. I feel my bodies on the verge of collapse.”
Km must have thought the game was up imo. By the 18th July in my scenario the body would have been moved, nevertheless, evidence could still be found on the beach. This is what KM reacts to.

I know my comments are highly speculative but it is very clear why the pj thought the beach was an important factor. At this point they would not have had the British dog’s cadaver findings especially in relationship to the hire car.

Wizard said...

I think it’s possible when you are guilty of something it is normal to believe people know more about your guilt than in fact they do. In Kate’s diary, may be subconsciously, she gives the game away and later believes the reader will see clearly beyond the actual words she written to her thoughts between the lines which are not penned.

It’s clear from the parts of KM’s diary published, on this thread, why the Mc’s took legal action. We would have to know exactly what happened to M to know where the actual slip-up occurs in the diary – but I’m sure it’s there.

viv said...


Thanks for some excellent thoughts analysing the theory of Madeleine dying and Kate's reactions to that contained in her diary.

You make an excellent point that their apologists have repeatedly said, well how could they have disposed of the body with the press in tow. It seems like in getting them there this was another way of trying to create confusion and say how much they under surveillance. And yet Kate records that getting up even around 7.30 was "late" for her. It seems like they were going out in the very early morning when they knew no one else was around, the press pack still perhaps only rising from their slumbers.

I always thought it was odd that the McCanns did not search all night for Madeleine but claim that by 6 am they went out looking for her.

When you think about it Wiz, they moved to Payne's apartment. And it is interesting but I read in his police interview they were very interested about the good view that upstairs apartment provided.

It is not at all difficult to imagine the McCanns, from that vantage point, waiting until all police activity had disappeared in the early morning and then venturing out to check on things.

It is very incriminating evidence in those circumstances for Kate herself to point out, great, could go jogging down to the beach with no press pack in tow!

Maybe this could also explain Gerry becoming so utterly frustrated recently in Portugal and bouncing off in a huff. Kate never loses her temper...Kate has organised things recently bless her as Susan Healy would say. Gerry has managed to put it in a box and get over it, Kate never can and can never stop trying to hold her head up again in public. I suspect she is very desperate if she thinks JK Rowling, nice as I have no doubt she is, will ever make any difference to that.

viv said...


and none of this would change the evidence of Mr Smith in being pretty convinced that Gerry was Madeleine's abductor. Maybe it is just a question of....what an absolutely terrible and macabre thing to do.

viv said...

I suppose it brings us back to the old question, wishing to avoid a post mortem? Drugs? Sexual abuse? Violence/blood?

Surely they would have realised that had they just allowed Madeleine the dignity of a proper burial Kate would probably have been dealt with very leniently. There is undoubtedly more to this, something that caused Gerry to do what he did.

viv said...

The following day 4 May, Kate tells the police the apartment patio door was left open. That is how she and Mat entered to check on the children.

Was she not satisfied with having falsely told them the window was also open, she wanted the police to know this apartment was just wide open for lurking predators?

Bizarrely, the next day, Gerry tells them that he and Kate used their key going all the way around the front to get in, but also says Mat did his check by entering the open patio door at the rear. ON 10 May he says he was wrong about that, they did not use their front door key, they both used the rear patio door.

Anyone who actually believes this couple are telling the truth and Madeleine was abducted by a stranger must live in Cloud Cuckoo Land!

If she was abducted at all, it was an abduction her parents arranged and one witnessed by Mr Smith and his family. But it is highly likely poor Madeleine was being abducted, dead.

Jane Tanner, for reasons best known to herself, has decided to seriously throw a serious police investigation into the disappearance of a little girl and should be sent down IMO.

viv said...

You know if I was JK Rowling I would be seriously tempted to kid Kate and Gerry along, just to get to know this couple because it would be pretty fascinating.

Maybe she could even use her research in the plot for another book, watch out Kate and Gerry!

viv said...

"We remember the first few days after Madeleine was taken, watching the clock and counting every hour. Now we've reached 1,000 days."

What is wrong with this couple, "taken", why can't they say what happened to her, what they know for a fact happened to her and they were never in any doubt of, from the first few moments?

Come on Kate and Gerry shout it out nice and loud and do not be afraid of the word ABDUCTED

Talk about covering their backs!

Maybe we should just stick with what Leicester Police, Kate and Gerry's home force, are prepared to say at the moment, "those behind the disappearance of Madeleine McCann".

We all know who they are!

viv said...

Meanwhile, Rosiepops has not blogged about this case since 13 January when the horror struck of just how bad things were for the McCanns in taking the unfortunate decision to sue Goncalo Amaral.

And as for its forum, gone into closed session, lol, lol, lol

Things are looking very bleak for Team McCann!

and Bless You litte Lady xxx

viv said...

Supreme court overturns anonymity orders for four terror suspectsCourts had no justification at all for granting anonymity to men appealing against asset-freezing orders, justices say
Buzz up!
Digg it
Press Association
guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 27 January 2010 13.53 GMT Article historyOrders giving anonymity to four terror suspects who appealed against asset-freezing orders made by the Treasury were overturned today by the supreme court in a move greeted by observers as a resounding victory for press freedom.

The justices held that there "never was the slightest justification" for such orders, and said "the courts below appeared to have granted anonymity orders without any very prolonged consideration and without explaining their thinking".

Orders were justifiable in an extreme case, such as when a party or witness in proceedings or their family might be in peril of their lives or safety as a result of being identified. But none of the terror suspects could show that identifying them would put anyone at risk of physical violence, the court said.

Its decision came in a judgment following an application by Guardian News and Media, supported by Times Newspapers, Associated Press, Bloomberg news, Index on Censorship, Dow Jones, the Economist, Article 19 and the Media Legal Defence Initiative, in a case in which five men were appealing against orders made by the Treasury freezing their financial assets and restricting their lifestyles.

All five were given anonymity. One, initially referred to as G, was later named as Mohammed al-Ghabra after having been identified through a Bank of England press release.

When the case reached the supreme court the media applied to be able to name the other four – three brothers referred to as A, K and M, and a man referred to as HAY.

M and HAY objected to the application, saying they should remain anonymous because identifying them would have a serious effect on their private lives and their families, and expose them to suspicion to which they would be unable to respond. HAY also claimed that identifying him would expose relatives in Egypt, his home country, to the risk of retributive action by the authorities there.

Lawyers representing the other two were unable to say where they were or to contact them.

The supreme court said there was a growing tendency for courts to make anonymity orders, which had become a "deeply ingrained" habit.

viv said...

It also expressed concern that courts were being misled, saying that HAY – Hani El Sayed Sabei Youssef – was named in a Bank of England press release in 2005, had featured in press articles and had sued the Home Office for wrongful imprisonment in an openly reported case.

Lord Rodger, who gave the judgment, said: "HAY is also known as Dr Hani al-Seba'i and under that name he acts as the director of the al-Maqrizi Centre for Historical Studies in London. He gives statements to the press and often broadcasts on al-Jazeera.

"Despite this, there is no evidence that any members of his family, whether in this country or in Egypt, have been adversely affected in any way. These matters, which must have been well known to Mr Youssef, should not have been concealed from the courts.

"It is plain that there never was the slightest justification for making an anonymity order in his case. It must be set aside."

The widespread and growing phenomenon of giving anonymity to litigants should stop, Rodger said.

Stories about identifiable individuals "are simply much more attractive to readers than stories about unidentified people. It is just human nature," he said.

"A report of the proceedings challenging the freezing orders which did not reveal the identities of the appellants would be disembodied. Certainly, readers would be less interested and, realising that, editors would tend to give the report a lower priority. In that way informed debate about freezing orders would suffer.

"On the other hand, if newspapers can identify the people concerned, they may be able to give a more vivid and compelling account which will stimulate discussion about the use of freezing orders and their impact on the communities in which the individuals live. Concealing their identities simply casts a shadow over entire communities."

While allowing the media to identify the men could lead to "outrageously hostile" coverage about them, that was "not sufficient reason for curtailing that freedom" for all members of the press.

Solicitor Mark Stephens, of law firm Finers Stephens Innocent, who represented the media, said: "This case was brought because judges were being hoodwinked into covering up the names of litigants and defendants and had forgotten the importance of free speech.

"Government lawyers too were at fault in supporting and justifying unjustified claims to secrecy."

The decision should also mean that the ban on the naming of the children in the Edlington torture attack case should be lifted, he said, adding: "It is overwhelmingly in the public interest that the press should investigate and explain the background to this brutal and tragic crime without being inhibited by orders requiring that the family must remain anonymous.

"No court henceforth should grant an anonymity order in a significant case unless it is satisfied that the litigant, if identified, would be in serious danger of physical attack.

"Indeed, it was a complete outrage that doctors and social workers in that case should have also sought anonymity, until now, such has been the expectation of anonymity of even third parties."

viv said...

Kate's diary: Seems to suddenly jump from 4 May to 12 May, why the big gap, what was happening in those crucial days that Kate does not see fit to record?

ON 10 May he (Gerry) says he was wrong about that, they did not use their front door key, they both used the rear patio door.

On 10 May Gerry gets another grilling from the Police and according to Goncalo Kate did not feel well enough to cope with this.

Kate, you know I think we finally got you sussed and why you went "no comment" maybe why you got all those bruises as well? and maybe why we can see a picture from the holiday of Gerry playing happily with Madeleine, but not you?

No escape Kate! If this is what we think, how much further on are the police, Kate?

viv said...

I have just checked the online news reports about the McCanns and there is still no confirmation about Branson and Rowling actually attending that event last night.

And yet, this would be the most major cous for the McCanns, so why the reticence? Why no triumphant Mitchell telling reporters how fantastic it all was? Why no pictures? (well Hello I know:-))

What do we get instead? Mark Williams Thomas, now this is looking really pathetic to me.

Instead of these A listers and Mitchell crowing about it, we get him?

viv said...

Come to that, why is Mitchell not crowing about Dr Gerry McCanns informative and emotive lecture to CEOP? Could it he they just want to keep that one under their hat as well?

Did they just run out of good spin?

Well that would be a great boon for Justice for Maddie xxx

viv said...

whoops it has not even happened yet, normal service will be resumed soon when I figure out what day it is:-))))

viv said...

Missing: Respect

According to several Portuguese newspapers, like for example Diário de Notícias, Madeleine McCann’s parents have sent Lusa, the central Portuguese news agency, a press release with information about today’s event in London, that will mark 1000 days after Madeleine disappeared in Praia da Luz.

Said press release states that the fundraiser seeks to collect money for “the investigation into the disappearance of our daughter”.

It further informs that the event is a “private event” and that it is reserved for “people who have significantly helped in the search for Madeleine”.

But what I would really like to know is when the McCanns will host an event to thank those who have actually done something to help search for Madeleine.

The good people of Praia da Luz and from the surrounding areas, who have sacrificed their time, their income, their effort until the limit of their physical strength, to actively search for Madeleine on the days following the disappearance, have not been invited.

The Portuguese policemen, firemen, rescue teams, council staff, the volunteers from so many civil associations who have physically, methodically and thoroughly searched for Madeleine for days on end, have not been invited.

The Polícia Judiciária agents who have worked around the clock, under extreme conditions, without proper funding, without free weekends and without holidays, who have been ‘paid’ with insult, humiliation and despise, have not been invited.

Those who have been invited to the McCanns’ party, are those who have either donated hefty amounts to the Madeleine Fund, or are about to do so tonight. That seems to be what Maddie’s parents see as “significantly” helping the search for their daughter.

It has become too common to point out the fact that an investigation into the disappearance of their daughter, carried out by a legitimate police force, either in Portugal or in the UK, would cost Kate and Gerry McCann absolutely no money.

It has become too easy to note that every time one of the couple’s lawyers sits down and writes a letter on their behalf, the pair is probably billed as much as the cost of each one of the tickets to the fundraiser.

It has become too embarrassing to watch what the McCanns’ private investigation, which they seem to choose to the detriment of an investigation by the police, has produced so far.

I am certain that tonight, in Praia da Luz, many people who have not been invited to any “star-studded”, “private” party will, very privately, be thinking of Madeleine Beth McCann.

As they look up into the starry sky, they will know that they have given everything they had, and more, to help search for a little girl that has never been far from their thoughts. And they will go to bed, with a heavy heart - and peace of mind.

http://joana-morais.blogspot.com/2010/0 ... spect.html

viv said...

Hang on a minute 1000 lanterns will be released just in LEICESTER is that a mistake? How many thousands are being frittered away on lanterns? Kate you are mad!

Lanterns mark Madeleine McCann's 1,000 days

Investigations have so far failed to find Madeleine McCann
One thousand paper lanterns will be released into the sky in Leicestershire to mark 1,000 days since Madeleine McCann went missing.

Simultaneous events will take place in Portugal, where Madeleine disappeared in 2007, mother Kate's home city of Liverpool, and the USA.

Supporters of parents Kate and Gerry McCann will launch the lanterns in the family's home village, at 1930 GMT.

The couple said the lanterns symbolise them never giving up their search.

Madeleine was three years old when she went missing from her family's holiday apartment in Praia da Luz on 3 May, 2007, while her parents dined with friends nearby.

Sometimes it even feels 'wrong' to be coping

Kate and Gerry McCann
A statement from the couple on their website said: "It is a symbolic way for our family, friends and supporters to show that we have not forgotten Madeleine and will never give up on her.

"We remember the first few days after Madeleine was taken, watching the clock and counting every hour.

"Now we've reached 1,000 days.

"It's difficult sometimes to understand how we've been able to keep going and survive without Madeleine, especially since nothing has changed since that terrifying first night.

"Madeleine is still missing.

"Sometimes it even feels 'wrong' to be coping. And yet if we weren't, there would be no search and no campaign to find Madeleine and that just doesn't bear thinking about."

The lanterns will be released at the Rothley Court Hotel in the McCanns' home village of Rothley.

viv said...

The McCanns asked poet to write it for them and he felt "awkward". They will "auction off" the handwritten copy of it. What a scheming couple of tarts but well done The Times for a decent slant!

Kate McCann has certainly Left no Stone Unturned as she sat in her Rothley living room chained to the phone and the computer doing her begging letters. Gonna take more than that Kate!

viv said...

THEY WANT TO KEEP MADELEINE ALIVE IN LOTS OF DIFFERENT WAY, I THINK THE POET HAS THE DRIFT...http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/poetry/article7003583.ece
A poem for Madeleine
Simon Armitage has combined personal and universal themes in the work he created at the request of Kate and Gerry McCann
Penny Wark 8 Comments
Recommend? (9) At first Simon Armitage wasn’t sure what to make of the request. Would he consider writing a poem to mark the thousand days since the disappearance of Madeleine McCann?

He felt awkward, he explains. “I said I didn’t think I could do it. You know, the difficulty of writing something that would need to be quite intimate and not wanting to poke around in their grief and intrude. Then we talked about it a little more.”

The request came from the director Emma Loach, who worked with Gerry and Kate McCann on a television documentary last year and is also a friend of Armitage. Would he at least meet Kate McCann, she suggested? He agreed. “I thought that was probably the only way of doing it. I wanted to make sure that they were on board.”

And so the Yorkshire-based poet, a strong contender for the poet laureate appointment last year, met Kate McCann at the family’s home in Rothley, Leicestershire. As they talked, Armitage came to understand the McCanns’ motivation, and how he might be able to help.

Related Links
How words make sense of the world
How poets see modern life
Simon Armitage's Madeleine McCann poem
“They want to keep Madeleine alive in lots of different ways,” he says. “They want to keep the search for her alive. I think also they want to do things for her as any parent would. On my part, like a lot of people, it’s something that right from the beginning I felt moved by.

“To function as a poet you’ve got to have a certain amount of detachment. But to make the poem work for the McCanns, and for it to be meaningful as a piece of writing, you need to know what they think and to have a bit more of a feeling for it. One of the things I talked to Kate about was how difficult it must be to keep out that fear and that doubt and darkness. We talked about the night Madeleine went missing, those terrible hours of darkness before it became light again and they could resume the search. It was like meeting in the middle.”

He asked for some details to inform his poemand in response Gerry and Katewrote him a couple of pages about Madeleine, their thoughts and feelings. Through that, Armitage learnt of the candle they keep burning in a lantern in their village square.

“That’s how it works with a poem sometimes, just one little thing. I’d been looking at the photograph that was used of Madeleine in the campaign, where you can see the fleck in her eye. I found myself thinking about Jupiter. If you look at Jupiter there’s something bottom left that they call the great red spot. It’s an anticyclone thousands of miles across that looks like a little eye to us, like a fleck in the planet’s face. Then I started thinking, is there life out there?

viv said...

“That became the conceit for the poem, looking out for signs of life and the idea of keeping a light burning here for life looking back this way. The McCanns are optimistic, I think you can call that optimism hope. They have hope and that’s what keeps them going. One thing Kate will say is that they don’t have any concrete evidence to say that she’s dead. For as long as that’s the case, they have a parent’s duty and it’s their fierce desire to keep looking for her. And they have faith, they are strong Roman Catholics. That sense of lighting a candle, saying a prayer, keeping hope burning — I was trying to tap into that as well.”

The result, a sonnet, was also informed by his own experience of being the father of a ten-year-old daughter, Armitage acknowledges. “Parents can identify with the McCanns losing something that is your whole world, around which things orbit. For most of us it’s an unimaginable loss. That’s one of the reasons that their story is so powerful.”

The McCanns have described the poem as “beautiful” and have told Armitage that it captures many of their feelings and the issues around the loss of their daughter.

Armitage responds by saying that this is what he does. His ability to write with intimacy and yet without intruding is partly because he is no stranger to writing about topical and sensitive events. His poem Out of the Blue was a response to the fifth anniversary of 9/11.

He has given the McCanns a handwritten copy of this poem that will be auctioned tonight at an event to raise funds for their campaign. He will also sign over the copyright to them. “They can do whatever they want with it,” he says. “This is my way of trying to do something.”

viv said...

"One thing Kate will say is that they don’t have any concrete evidence to say that she’s dead."

and Gerry will say, "there is absolutely no evidence".

Seems to me Kate admits to this poet she feels there is a bit of evidence. Not concrete enough for a court though huh Kate?

viv said...

He will also sign over the copyright to them.

So cynical, so legalistic, so grasping, so scheming. So many adjectives I could use to describe just how I feel about this couple who rushed to make their daughte a trade mark, a valuable piece of commercial property. Maybe I better save some of those adjectives.

viv said...

The Beacon

Dusk, doubt, the growing depth of an evening sky,

dark setting in as it did that night,

the forever vastness of outer space

reflecting the emptiness here inside,

shadowing, colouring, clouding the mind.

But somewhere out there there has to be life,

the distance only a matter of time,

a world like our own, its markings and shades

as uniquely formed as a daughter’s eye,

distinctly flecked, undeniably hers,

looking back this way through the miles and years

to a lantern cupping a golden blaze,

its candle alive with a fierce blonde flame

for the thousandth time, for as long as it takes.

viv said...

I do not understand that poem to be seeing things quite the way the McCanns would like us to see them, in fact, I find it very sad.

She is looking back at us from the universe over the years. In that special place where mere mortals do not walk.

Di said...

Hi all

Viv, thanks for posting Kate's diary and your very interesting comments.

I am just reading back at the moment but picked up on Wizards comment on Kate's diary..

30th May KM “I hope and pray for the day, hopefully soon, when we will be reunited and together again forever.” Entertaining suicidal thoughts?

26th June – KM “I went out to the rocks on the beach. I cried a lot and spoke to Madeleine and God.” Both in heaven?

Wizard, I think you are spot on there.

What I now think is time has healed and Kate has shut all thoughts down and really believes they have got away with it.

Let's wait and see, hopefully for Madeleine justice is on her side. Sadly, I am not holding my breath.

If these so called celebs are still on side, it is going to be very difficult to get the trashy tabloid readers to understand the truth published in the files.

Di said...


Yes their mantra is always, the fund is running low, incredibly it is always the same amount left.

As for the lanterns that have been proven to be totally dangerous to farm animals and wildlife as they have a metal piece that runs though them. How totally irresponsible Kate & Gerry are being. Actually, perhaps I am being unkind, they were always irresponsible as we know so no change there.

Do we know who is releasing the lanterns in PDL, was that why rent a cop was supposedly there recently. Please don't tell me he had to bribe people!

Di said...

Worth a read from Paulo Reis

Al Pacino is a wonderful actor. His performance in “The Devil’s Advocate” is amazing. His final phrase, in the movie, as you can see in the video from YouTube, is fantastic: “Vanity… definitely, my favorite sin..” Let me be, for a while, the Devil’s Advocate, a job that still exists, today, in the Vatican, and ask just one question.

It seems that Clarence Mitchell, at last, said something that is not a complete lie. He said that the McCann never expected to be for a so long time without Madeleine. Why do I consider it only a half-truth? Because Gerry McCann, on June 3, 2007, said something that made me think that he was not expecting news of his daughter for, at least, one year.

Talking to Jason Groves, from the “Daily Express”, Gerry McCann, 38, said: “One of the ideas is maybe getting all the people who have publicly supported us to come together. I don’t just mean from the UK but from different parts of the world. We want a big event to raise awareness that she is still missing.

“We would look at high-profile people who have already pledged support. It will be some sort of focus around an anniversary, to tell people that Madeleine’s still missing. I think it would be later this year, once media attention has dropped, to bring it back up, hopefully, for a short period.

“It wouldn’t be a one-year anniversary; it will be sooner than that. What we’re doing at the minute has its role but doing that down the line in a few months won’t have anything like the same impact. We might have a sporting event, something arts, something music." (end of quote)

I don’t know what Kate McCann was thinking about that, in June 3, 2007. But I know (because Gerry McCann said that and it was printed in a newspaper and reproduced in thousands of sites in the Net) that he was not expecting to see Madeleine within, at least, one year. It’s one third of 1,000 days – 365 days.

Clarence Mitchell said something about Madeleine’s disappearance that it’s half-truth. Keep working hard and you will see that, one day, you will be able to say something about this case that is a complete truth.

But the question I want to ask to Mr. Gerry McCann is the following: you were planning events for a long period of time – more than one year – so you were why sure that Madeleine McCann would not be found within one year. Why?

Publicada por Paulo Reis

Di said...

Yes Gerry, I would also like to ask you the same question, how did you know Madeleine would nbot be found?

Di said...

Hi Viv

I love poetry but can't get my head round that one. It makes no sense. No disrespect to the author.

viv said...

Hello Di!

Before I read your posts just wanted to say pleased to hear from you, I missed you the last few days!

Are baby and daughter a bit better now?

I go off to Dom Rep 7 Feb, please pray for no more earth quakes for me although right the other side, Samana peninsula.


viv said...

Hiya Di, I think some of the comments from the poet along with its content give us the impression this man is rather confused in his mind as to what he believes.

I am sure he found it interesting to meet Kate. I think he has this image of a celestial body, heaven, and a flame that will always be kept burning but no more than that. Only the flame of the torch is actually blond or any physical presence. In other words perhaps a falseness there. The McCanns are very much about graphics and images to try and portray something that does not really exist. But they want people to see it there. It is at times a very false and materialistic image, Americanised. Thousands of lanterns...

Perhaps, like me, he just cannot be certain she is dead, but in his own mind thinks that is almost a certainty.

viv said...

Hiya again Di

Gerry was not expecting news of his daughter for at least one year.

That has always been what I have seen in Gerry McCann, cold, ruthless, scheming.

Taking photographs of Maddie with him.

Indicating he realised the abductors may do something to her eye but it was a good marketing ploy. To me those are the words of a psychopath who does not even have the insight to realise how chilling people would find such remarks.

"the situation Madeleine find herself in"

I still think it is a very real possibility he and his friends are sex offenders, they abused Madeleine, and then he trafficked her off.

There is just something unmistakably horrible about him and it just seems to go even deeper than carting Maddie's body off to protect his wife, but that is such a strong contender also. One did that one English copper say from Goncalo's book, although actually wrong in the assumption he is a surgeon,

"this guy cuts people open before breakfast"

He clearly had a similar view of Gerry McCann.

But she, even more so just lately, seems so much to be spearheading this campaign and it is every bit as likely that is because she killed Madeleine. Still completely undecided, but I do think this case is so complex the police have to continue to investigate it in UK as we are told they are in the hope they can bring them to court for this "big secret they are all hiding". Again from a respected and very senior copper, an honest one too, John Stalker.

Di said...

Hi Viv

Yes daughter and grandson are fine now thank you.

Look forward to your hols Viv stop worrying. I hope we will see many happy pics of you and Luke, as it should be when going away with family. Is your mother going as well?

Di said...

I agree Viv, Kate is spearheading the campaign now.

It could be because she is responsible for Madeleine's demise, or it could be because they all now realise Gerry has lost the plot and is going to blow the whole case wide open it's anyone's guess.

IMO though, Gerry needs to take an anger management course he really has serious issues!

Off now see you tomorrow x

viv said...

Hiya Di,

Only just noticed your comments as lot of threads the last few days as I post up things, the way I see them. Still a mystery and still far too many people supporting central characters in this case and even making money out of it, rather than justice and Madeleine.

I do not think it is about saying we know better than the police, we know the truth. The dogs tell us! That is such an unrealistic and really rather simplistic position to adopt. It is about accepting that the McCanns have done more than enough to leave people in no doubt they were responsible for the demise of Madeleine but until such time as the British Police reveal their case and charge them, we do not really know what that case is.

People are fascinated because they just need to know, what did they do with that little girl. They are fascinated by the bizarre and unnatural behaviour of the McCanns, maybe even more so because they are doctors and people just assume strange behaviour would not or should not occur in professional people. That is an odd assumption given Shipman et al.

It is about trying to understand just what is the truth. What is so frightening about this couple, what is it that just arouses in us the most serious feelings of mistrust and revulsion? I think millions of posts will continue to be written about them whilst they continue to put themselves on the public stage expressing that shock and revulsion at their conduct and demeanour.

viv said...

Hiya Di

I tend to agree with you, Kate is either taking over the conduct of the campaign because she sees Gerry increasingly loses his temper and risking putting them both in jail;


she knows that Gerry trafficked Madeleine off and she just hopes...but again, she realises she failed to protect Maddie and would also lose her twins when she gets sent down for that. But the circumstances, I don't know, just maybe, she would get probation/mental health treatment. Unless and until she is prepared to face it, she will never know, but as time goes on, I think it is clear she just becomes more and more ill.

viv said...

Di, I actually think Gerry needs something far more intensive than anger management training.

In studies of those with serious personality disorder, it was found that whilst they do have anger management problems, training them to control that anger, also trained them to be more controlling and manipulative. It actually increased their skills at being a control freak. For that reason it is no longer recommended. They are known to frequently con and manipulate even doctors and therapists!

Gerry cons a lot of people I think to the extent they can believe this was just an accident!

viv said...

Di, finally, I am glad to hear daughter and grandson are now OK again.

I am looking forward to my holiday, it is in the most beautiful and relaxing place. Just the trip to get there, lengthy flight and then lengthy taxi journey, but once I am there, heaven!

Mom and step father would not come on this one, too much travelling!

Mom just loves North Africa, I think she wants to go to Morocco again now as she has not been for many years. Lots of Tunisia then lots of Egypt now back to Morocco, bless her, she just loves the heat and the culture.